Reflections
by Carnett Rose
Summary: Takes place before the intra-school ranking match. Fuji reflects upon his friendship with Tezuka


It wasn't exactly the first time we had met, but I definitely consider that fateful day as our first meeting. It was the first time that I actually could look beyond that strict and serious nature of Tezuka, the flash of helplessness that I saw as he sank to his knees, clutching his left arm in pain. In that brief moment, I saw everything- the love and passion for tennis, the almost certain vision he beheld for taking the team to nationals, and the determination to go ahead no matter what may come in his path, even if it meant bearing pain that could hamper his very ability to play- just like what he did today.

It was painful to acknowledge the fact that despite his injury, he still kept his promise, going as far as playing left-handed, only to face a complete defeat. Naturally, I wasn't very pleased- for I couldn't face the real Tezuka even though he tried his best to be himself. I was angry, seriously angry with him for further injuring himself by playing this so-called match. Despite my calm demeanor, I took him by the collar, telling him in no uncertain words that I wasn't happy at all, even if he kept his promise.

All I received in reply was an apology, which took me by surprise…

The momentary anger having passed, I requested a match, again, on the day when his arm had fully healed. I received another nod of approval as a reply and I said no more. I vaguely knew that it would be a while before we could play each other again. But I never expected it to take so long-nearly two years when we were in our third and final year.

Little did I realize on that day, that this match would cast a shadow on us and our newly formed friendship that could only be done away when we again faced each other, on the court.

Time continued to fly and we were now in our final year before we knew it. Tennis continued to remain our main priority, as we were responsible on the behalf of the whole club to take the team to the nationals. As expected, Tezuka went on to become the captain, thus coming one step closer to the goal he had determined in his freshman year.

Despite the fact that almost two years had passed since that incident, his arm didn't heal completely. He frequently went for checkups, and it was on one such visit that I found out about it, which had me slightly worried.

As I waited for him to come out, I was for once lost in deep thought. I couldn't help wondering how it would have been, if we had met on the courts as rivals in an official match, rather than being on the same team and even classmates. At first, it seemed better, for there would have been a great match with all the intensity and passion of a true sportsman. We would've never bothered to know what kind of psychological effect it would have, for we would have never known each other personally. Well, who knows?

I voiced my opinions to him, as we walked together after he was done with his checkup. And I wasn't surprised to receive the short and simple answer-"Day dreaming is not to my liking…"

Still I couldn't help doubting myself, as we parted ways, whether I would have played any seriously had he been a true rival than a friend.

Even though I still awaited that day when I could play him again, I was afraid. Afraid that my usual habit of playing at the opponent's strength for the sake of being thrilled would have to give way to more serious matters. Afraid that somehow, Tezuka will get past my guard, as he so often says, and I will have no choice but to be my true self.

But it seems that for doubting my seriousness about tennis, a match wasn't required. As many incidents remain imprinted in my mind, so does this one- the day I played against Echizen, who in some ways, resembled a much younger Tezuka.

I admitted to Tezuka my true reasons for playing tennis, and also raised the question whether it was wrong to do so. The fact that I play only to feel the thrill of from drawing all of the potential from my opponent in a match didn't surprise him the least. It seemed that he already had me and my playing style scrutinized. Nothing could be missed under his sharp perception and insight. I went to extent of telling him that if my lack of seriousness was proving to be an issue, he should then remove me from the regulars.

"I'll think about it" was the seemingly curt reply I got. For a moment I was wondering what made me say that. But no, it was in full seriousness that I told him that he could remove me from the regulars, and as he was my captain, I respected his decisions.

I didn't know what to expect when the match between the two famous captains began on that fateful day. The Kantou tournament had just started and Hyotei was our first opponent. After staying on the sidelines up till now, Tezuka was playing his first official match as a third year. It couldn't have been worse- that match with the infamous Keigo Atobe resulted in him losing his first official match all due to an injury inflicted upon him by Atobe, only aggravating the problem with his left arm.

I didn't know whether it was fortunate or not that Tezuka had to leave for Germany for rehabilitation, but it was shocking for sure, to receive the news. At first I had the same concerns as the others on the team- the fact that we had to do without our captain was too unnerving. We had no idea when he would be back. But then, I knew very well that he won't be in the slightest relieved of his duties as a captain, even when he was in Germany. He'll continue to keep in touch, for the team mattered to him the most. And the very fact that he was going to all lengths to fix the problem only shows that he wants to be the one to lead his team to the nationals, and that too without being held back by anything.

In a way it was fortunate for me, for the whole incident only helped in making the dream of playing against him a little more real, a little more fulfilled.

And finally, after two long years, ever since that fateful match, we are given another chance- another chance to cast away that shadow, to go about the match, not caring for results, giving it all…

As we stand, facing each other on the court, ready to begin the last ranking match, I finally realize as to why we were so eager to play each other since the start….

It seems that for us, tennis is way of expressing ourselves….

It is only through this match that we will know each other as to how we are…

It is only today that will decide the one who wins the friendly competition…

It is today that our promise to each other will be fulfilled, in its true sense.

And at this moment, nothing matters to me as much as the fact that I am facing Tezuka Kunimitsu- a friend, a captain, a mentor, a rival, and in some way, a true source of inspiration……

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


End file.
